Cows are wearing VR headsets now

By Kirsten Howard. Posted

When you were little, what were your dreams of the future? Flying cars? Meals in pill form? Exploring the stars?

Sorry, but those have been cancelled. The future of this dark timeline is now dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria ...and cows wearing VR headsets.

Some unsettling images of cows existentially idling in a computer-generated land of make believe were found at the website for the Ministry of Agriculture and Food of the Moscow Region just recently, and sweet lord we can only hope it turns out to be a ridiculous Russian prank of some kind.

The BBC has republished the pictures, though, and an explanation of why this bovine Matrix should be a perfectly normal development has been offered:

"In addition to physical needs, researchers began to pay more attention to the emotional state of animals. Examples of dairy farms from different countries show that in a calm atmosphere, the quantity, and sometimes the quality, of milk increases markedly.

"American farmers install automatically rotating brushes in the stalls, which replace the masseur's cows. In Europe, they use robotic systems to ensure maximum free movement of livestock on the farm. In Russia, Moscow suburbs in particular, manufacturers install sound equipment for broadcasting classical music, the relaxing effect of which positively affects milk output."

The VR tests being performed on the cows provide them with a "unique summer field simulation" according to the accompanying press release, and has achieved positive results so far, with the cows experiencing "a decrease in anxiety and an increase in the overall emotional mood of the herd." (via PC Gamer)

Well, hey, if it decreases anxiety, don't bogart the summer field sim, please.

Wireframe #27 is out now.

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